Why are men...
Once and for all I wanted to answer most of the questions that we (men) have been bombarded with. They seem silly yet that’s what women consider “Critical-Issues”. Women take note…
1. Why men are such jerks?
It’s a testosterone thing. Very similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of male is typically 10 years shorter (and it’s not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormones modify behavior. We’re just misunderstood.
2. Why do men always have to stare at other women?
Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? The PMS certainly doesn’t. Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught or men don’t care as much as women do. We’re fairly certain it’s some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for future references. Since men lack this ability, we try o burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.
3. Why are men so uncommunicative except with criticism?
You’d learn to keep you big mouth shut too if every time you open it your partner makes a big issue out of it and get you into trouble.
4. Why do men have to act like such retards?
Well, we don’t actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It’s the old-fashioned pride in a job well done that’s missing in so much of the world nowadays.
5. Why can’t men jus share their feelings?
Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we fell? Men don’t really give a shit about how or what they feel except for the extreme emotions like rage, hatred, disgust or a brick on our foot. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.
6. Why can’t men cuddle more?
Please… how many hours do you think there are in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end? We men… men hunters… need go roam… starve in cave… must find wild beast. Now sitting on our asses for hours on end, on the other hand, is a whole another story.
7. How can men sit on their asses all day without moving?
Men have powerful sets of sitting muscles, developed by evolution that enables us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for long periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for extended periods of time, thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber-toothed tigers. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.
10. Why can’t men just say “I love you”?
Men are taught to be self-sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most consider that a character fault. It’s not easy to admit to one’s own character faults.
11. Why doesn’t my partner ever answer me?
We just simply don’t have the energy to answer every one of your silly fucking questions. If we think that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for the fight that will ensue thereafter.
12. Why are men always such slobs?
It doesn’t really bother us that much. Besides, we know damn well you’ll pick up after us.
13. What’s with all the belching and farting?
This usually only occurs after months of dating. It’s our way of letting you know that we’re comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it’s actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding back for extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps.
14. Why do men hate shopping?
It’s an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours looking at things we have no intention of killing… err buying?
15. Why do men prefer a quickie?
Women prefer 30 to 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 to 45 seconds of foreplay, less if at all possible. For the man, driving back to her or his place is considered a part of foreplay.
16. Why do men look at pictures of naked/half-naked women in magazines?
Men’s magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women’s magazines also feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a work of art (if in good shape), while male body isn’t as good as that. Men are turned on by the sight of naked ladies. Besides, there are some women’s magazines featuring the pictures of half-naked men. We never complained, and you shouldn’t either.
17. Why do men never ask for directions?
A famous question it is and it also has a lot of jokes related to it. If a woman is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions. Men consider this to be a sign of weakness, and remember that men are taught to be self sufficient. Now let me get it straight, a man who tries to be self sufficient isn’t any good and a man who is weak and has some character faults is also not good. What the hell do you want us to be?
18. Why do men like nudity in movies?
Almost all the actresses in the history of films had to do a naked scene. So, it’s more like a requirement. Also it’s not only men who like to see nudity in movies. I believe women also like to see their favorite actors naked.
I answered as many questions as I could and I hope after reading these women might have second thoughts about asking more questions about men. But if you’re still not satisfied and if you’re pretty, just email me at men_ace010@hotmail.com
Original idea: Aneek Saleh Mohammad (aneek@rev.com.pk)
1. Why men are such jerks?
It’s a testosterone thing. Very similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of male is typically 10 years shorter (and it’s not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormones modify behavior. We’re just misunderstood.
2. Why do men always have to stare at other women?
Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? The PMS certainly doesn’t. Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught or men don’t care as much as women do. We’re fairly certain it’s some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for future references. Since men lack this ability, we try o burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.
3. Why are men so uncommunicative except with criticism?
You’d learn to keep you big mouth shut too if every time you open it your partner makes a big issue out of it and get you into trouble.
4. Why do men have to act like such retards?
Well, we don’t actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It’s the old-fashioned pride in a job well done that’s missing in so much of the world nowadays.
5. Why can’t men jus share their feelings?
Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we fell? Men don’t really give a shit about how or what they feel except for the extreme emotions like rage, hatred, disgust or a brick on our foot. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.
6. Why can’t men cuddle more?
Please… how many hours do you think there are in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end? We men… men hunters… need go roam… starve in cave… must find wild beast. Now sitting on our asses for hours on end, on the other hand, is a whole another story.
7. How can men sit on their asses all day without moving?
Men have powerful sets of sitting muscles, developed by evolution that enables us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for long periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for extended periods of time, thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber-toothed tigers. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.
10. Why can’t men just say “I love you”?
Men are taught to be self-sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most consider that a character fault. It’s not easy to admit to one’s own character faults.
11. Why doesn’t my partner ever answer me?
We just simply don’t have the energy to answer every one of your silly fucking questions. If we think that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for the fight that will ensue thereafter.
12. Why are men always such slobs?
It doesn’t really bother us that much. Besides, we know damn well you’ll pick up after us.
13. What’s with all the belching and farting?
This usually only occurs after months of dating. It’s our way of letting you know that we’re comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it’s actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding back for extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps.
14. Why do men hate shopping?
It’s an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours looking at things we have no intention of killing… err buying?
15. Why do men prefer a quickie?
Women prefer 30 to 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 to 45 seconds of foreplay, less if at all possible. For the man, driving back to her or his place is considered a part of foreplay.
16. Why do men look at pictures of naked/half-naked women in magazines?
Men’s magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women’s magazines also feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a work of art (if in good shape), while male body isn’t as good as that. Men are turned on by the sight of naked ladies. Besides, there are some women’s magazines featuring the pictures of half-naked men. We never complained, and you shouldn’t either.
17. Why do men never ask for directions?
A famous question it is and it also has a lot of jokes related to it. If a woman is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions. Men consider this to be a sign of weakness, and remember that men are taught to be self sufficient. Now let me get it straight, a man who tries to be self sufficient isn’t any good and a man who is weak and has some character faults is also not good. What the hell do you want us to be?
18. Why do men like nudity in movies?
Almost all the actresses in the history of films had to do a naked scene. So, it’s more like a requirement. Also it’s not only men who like to see nudity in movies. I believe women also like to see their favorite actors naked.
I answered as many questions as I could and I hope after reading these women might have second thoughts about asking more questions about men. But if you’re still not satisfied and if you’re pretty, just email me at men_ace010@hotmail.com
Original idea: Aneek Saleh Mohammad (aneek@rev.com.pk)
posted by gol gappe wala at 17:24
1 Comments:
dude stick to xanga and i agree with hassan u answered ?'s pretty well.
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